My suit of Armour

My suit of Armour

‘I am running in this direction fast, I don’t know where it ends, or even began, but I am going to get to the end. I am not stopping, are you coming?, he asked.

This was asked of me years ago in Australia. It had been a long day of family court, viscious attacks and tears, so many tears. All I could see in my rearview mirror was chaos and destruction.

Standing beside me that day was a Warrior encouraging me with his faith of who he knew I could be, and the vision of my future strength that was yet to be unleashed.

‘Fear and intimidation will always be a part of life,’ he said. ‘All I can do is instill the power in you to be your change’ Here was a man not asking me to change but inspiring me to grow.

I am a great believer in life lessons and what you can take from them. I am no Tony Robbins but I do know that each person brings a lesson in some form or another. Positive or negative and all the in betweens. You literally have to take the good or the bad from the experience.

What hadn’t quite formed was the process of forgiving those that had trespassed against me. How do you learn from those that have ripped your heart out while it’s still beating?

It took a long time, thru his patience, home truths, and undeniable support to patiently guide me towards being able to trust and forgive. The main reason, trust and forgiveness had to start with myself first, the strength and courage grew with it. He knew all of this was yet to come and still he walked by my side.

If given the choice between a war zone or watching me fight my demons, I wouldn’t have blamed him for suiting up and heading back out.

‘In war, he said, ‘It was easier to see the bad guys, in society not so easy. The enemy is hidden, shrouded in casts of characters.’

He watched me walk thru hell, shake the devil’s hand and find peace with it. Five years later, on bended knee, on a sandy beach in South East Asia, he gently asked me to marry him.

To My King, My Warrior who set me alight, who asked nothing of me but to be me.

These words are not enough. To say I have achieved my strength on my own accord would be misleading.

I didn’t hesitate that day to say Yes. Yes to many things, Yes I will marry you , Yes I will travel this world with you, Yes there will be challenges…YES…I will come with you, because where you are going is exactly where I want to be.

May you all find your Warrior in whatever shape or form suits your armour xx

 

 

 

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I am amongst Warriors

‘To those Warrior Chicks out there, creating new lives and living their dreams. You’re beautiful; stay that way inside and out. You’re strong; always know you have that back up. You’re wise; let that be your center point when you doubt yourself. You’re brave as a fleet of men going into battle hardened by life, empowered by experience in being a woman. Stay that way forever.’ Lxo

I was inspired today to write this to a woman who is off on an adventure. For some it may be an adventure of a lifetime, for her it is her life. A leaflet from her book should be used in a guide on how to be a strong woman. But can I tell you she is not the only one. There is another woman I know who from a casual glance would seem that her life is easy, carefree and without worries. She has worked hard to maintain that façade but behind the scenes there has been destruction, loss and sadness.

I have the honor of having an international sisterhood, made up of woman from all walks of life, but with one common thread, they have turned their weakenss’s into strengths.

Here are some outstanding examples.

Maxine, a woman who lights up the stage each night as she plays to a crowd. Her strength and weakness are both entwined as she is playing to her lost love and that is her closest connection. Her strength to go on to leave a crowd wanting more is her power to fulfil her sadness in to love. I have learned from her.

Jules, who turned her corporate life in the cement jungle, to yogi extrodinaire. Travelling the world bringing her yin with her yang, but that is a life that requires strength in yourself to be alone and be at one with that. I have learned from her.

Shashanna, who went into battle with the biggest beast of them all, Cancer. All I can say is FUCK you Cancer…and she did too. Her daughters are her accompolishment, her drive and her reason. I have learned from her.

Om, the beautiful single Mom. She sets examples that are positive and sacrifices herself daily to be the Mom and the Dad. Strong in character but soft in heart, the base line of what being a single Mom is. I have learned from her.

There are opportunities everyday to meet these woman, take time to do it. Learn from them, but do not fear them. For they are different, you will feel it. Their strength can almost be overwhelming, they don’t mean it. I for one do not want to miss another moment. If I had I would have missed out on learning how to dive, how to be a skier, how to save a life, how to be a Mother, a sister, how to be a woman, how to love and how to heal.  Each of them has a strength that has been created by the weakness’s that they have had to overcome. Learn from them.

Today when I realized that a wonderful creature had taken flight to fulfill her destiny, I was so proud of her.

I am proud of all of you and maybe we don’t hear that from each other enough. So if anything comes from this, learn from me too. For there is another woman I know who from a casual glance would seem that her life is easy, carefree and without worries. She has worked hard to maintain that façade but behind the scenes there has been destruction, loss and sadness. Learn from me.

I am that woman. Warrior Chick

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I Am the Why

I Am the Why

A rock group, movie star, screen writer, comedian and famous musician walk onto my mats…but I don’t know this yet. A Mother, a cancer survivor, a bride to be and a divorcee all sit on the same matts.

A father who has lost his first child, a man who is about to make his first business deal, a boxer who is training for his first fight and an unknown artist share the same goals. From pole dancers, editors, lawyers, pilots and house wives, my mats have many stories.

The mats are met with many types of individuals that are there for one purpose and one purpose only, to find their why.

Why? Why train? Why work so hard? Why get up and sweat with a stranger to achieve a goal that is elusive at the time? Why do we do put ourselves thru this pain threshold or for that matter why do I?

Here is Why: Training isn’t just about the physical, no it is much more than that, it is about the mindset.

I do the training and I am the trainer. I have walked in all of these amazing humans footsteps with them. I have found that each of us are connected to our external goals as well as our internal struggles. Men and woman alike.

Everyone is the same when they walk onto my matts and there in lies the beauty of training. You are not your pain, your beauty, your loss, your achievements or your struggle. You are the why in what you are doing in that moment for yourself. All doubts leave, all worries are forgotten and you are there for just you.

The individual stories and hard work of my clients are Oscar-winning moments of their lives. I cherish every moment being apart of their growth and no matter what stage of life or goals they have been thru, I know that they have worked thru some amazing odds to shine as brightly as they can. What makes these individuals different from you?

Between their why and yours, they have found that the why is the love of themselves. They have realized somewhere along the way in one of those lightbulb moments that time is needed for themselves to rediscover new things, new goals, push boundaries and live without fear or judgement.

In that time and space all traps of society are forgotten, worries are replaced with endorphins and sweat is your friend.

To be there for yourself means you are better out there in your field of dreams. Your why becomes you and it shines from within.

My mats have a lifetime of stories from the ages of 5 yrs to 75 and thru all the years there has not been one moment that I haven’t felt blessed to be in the company of such awe-inspiring humans.   You are my why and I thank you all for allowing me to be apart of your journey.

And I leave you with this, that undiscovered artist, holds exhibitions all over the world. That rock group has hit the top ten in the Uk and Australia, that actress has just walked the red carpet and the screenwriter just got his first signing of a movie. The bride to be is now pregnant, the cancer survivor is a mom of 2 and kicking it everyday, the divorcee is in a new relationship, the pole dancer is about to get married, the pilot is now a solo and the Mom of three feels empowered sexy and strong.

I am the WHY.

 

#rubyrose #theveronicas #starfire #cancer #philnichols #barricuda #dennythetrainer #fightingyourdemons #sweatsmileswear #iamthiswoman #boxchick #trainer #marriage #fitness #mindset #thailand #boxcamp #boxculture #rawartwarriors #welcometothejungle

 

 

Cogitation’s on Dengue; A letter to Our Lady.

 

 

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What started off as a bout of food poisoning had actually spiralled into what would now be my third bout of Dengue. On last count there were 5 strains with the possibility of now a 6th. For those that have never had the experience and I for one do not wish this on anyone, it is an experience which gets into your head.

 

 

And yes, people die from it.

Looking back the signs were all there. One would think after having it twice before I could have read myself better, however hindsight is a great thing and Dengue has it’s own rule book. It is here where you have to go within to come back out.

I am a catholic woman, who raised three children in the faith. Actually, I did this the opposite way around, I was baptised years later but that’s another story.

I don’t necessarliy go around singing kumbaya, but I have a deep faith that I carry around in my little pocket. A faith that I reach out to express my gratitude and in the more obvious cases when times are hard. Everyone has their own way, thank God for that. In Thailand where I currently reside, there are the breathtaking temples, incense, candles, barefeet and quiet chanting. All of us who reside here respect the traditions of the Buddism culture and that in itself always calms me.

For me, I too pray quietly, I send out good thoughts, I talk things out in calmness and then there are times when I just write in prayer. Yesterday was no different.

Please remember, Dengue is a disease that gets into the darkest areas of your mind, the ones you thought you had already conquered. It’s probably one of the biggest tests mentally I have ever had to endure. And as I write this I just realised I am also a little superstitious, as I just knocked on wood that I wouldn’t succumb to a 4th ‘experience’.

The stages of Dengue are hard to diagnose as the same symptoms of food poisoning or a bad flu could easily be mistaken for them. It is only when you are three quarters of the way in it, and you start to realise that water looks like molten lava and food looks like one of those horror movies where you think it’s rice and it moves around like maggots!! Then and only then, you realize the twisted tale of what you are about to succumb too.

Each strain is unique and cleverly designed to mess with your head. Externally you feel weak, loss of appetite and desire to drink fluids, head swelling and headaches that never leave the back of your eyes to entering the final stages of  body rashes and then the grand finale…the nightmares.

Yesterday the nightmares were so extreme, I decided I needed some external guidance to deal with my internal hell and so I wrote to the most non-judgmental woman out there, Our Lady.

This is my letter to Our Lady,

I am confused and I have to admit angry. The selfish side of me always wonders why I am in purgatory, why so much pain and loss. But the worst, why so much guilt when I know others have trespassed me?

Where to go from here? The stones I am unturning are not leading me to good fortune but just more hurt. I am assuming a more sensibe person would stop unturning those rocks and just step on them and walk forward, maybe even crush a few along the way.

Here I am again, short of money, short of sourcing and low on energy.

In truth, this year has been the hardest so far, so many realisations of what has been lost, of friends who were fairweather. and most of all of people taking advantage of our compassion and empathy. It has hurt us financially on so many levels, but most importantly on our emotional bank balance.

But I guess you have been thru all of this. How did you overcome such obstacles? In words they are grief, loss, fear, hardship, anger, trauma, how did you rise above all this and become so, I suppose, so Saintly?

If you were to sit down here with me now, this is what I would imagine or maybe even hope you would say to me, woman to woman, mother to mother, warrior to warrior.

Lisa, you talk of letting go, but you haven’t had the courage to fully understand what letting go means.

To let go is to free yourself, not of your love for others, but of your reliablity on their love to make you who you are. You my love, are not made up of them, they are made of you.

In my experience I could have died there right beside my son and willingly, but that was not my purpose. He had his road to walk and yet I was the one who gave him legs.

You have both given your strength, compassion and patience to all those that have crossed you and you will again. Only this time, like I have done for myself, you must rise above self. Look beyond who you percieve yourelf to be and see how others see you.

The rest, or sickness that you are going thru is the finality of your test. You have shown great strength and so many people need you and your courage. Be courageous now and let happiness in. See your beauty that goes beyond a mirror, see what your husband sees in you and shine out. Your cracks are merely the light trying desperately to get out.

Trust is what is holding you back. I am asking you now to trust me, trust what I am putting across your path is knowledge that you will need for your higher purpose. Your life has always been one to give hope to people to shine when others couldn’t. Let me reflect on your past (only for a moment) to show you your present.

You were a child that had to raise adults and make them feel better about themselves, so too was your soulmate.

You were chosen to lead your village across your country as their representative:so to was your soulmate.

You chose a man who was always going to create madness for you but you thought you could save him, your soulmate made the same sacrifice.

You train in helping the sick, the weak, the fat, the uninspired and those with low self esteem, again, so too does your soul mate.

You have the power in you, it is about facing your higher self now and asking you to rise up, heal first and regroup. The courage is in letting go, self belief, realising that no matter what you do not everyone is going to like it, even the ones you love the most. Trust me on this one.

You do it anyway, because that is your purpose-Not your purgatory!

You are loved xx

I wrote this 3 days ago, in the midst of the nightmares and just re-read it. To some this may seem a little crazy, but as the writing points out, ‘Not everyone is going to like it, even the ones you love the most,  do it anyway’.

I am this woman

#ourlady #thereturnofdengue #trustinthyself #talkitout #writeitout #notalone #inmypocket #trainer #purpose #alittlecrazy #whoisnt #sacrifice #detoxdengue #loveconquersall

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I am at the bottom of the bowl

I have created an incredible bond with and not surprisingly so, the aptly named porcelain pony. My instant love of the porcelain pony has been undeniably the only thing I have looked forward to when jumping with lightning speed from the bed.

I have been laid up for a few days with what can only be described as the devils incarnate force from the depths of hell, food poisoning.

This form of unusual abuse is not anyones friend, well that’s not entirely true, I have created an incredible bond with and not surprisingly so, the aptly named porcelain pony. My instant love of the porcelain pony has been undeniably the only thing I have looked forward to when jumping with lightning speed from the bed. It’s glorious white surface, it’s calming coolness and it’s never ending welcoming of anything I have had to offer it.

For everyone else in my home, Peppa the Pussy, Mac the Dog and my Medic Marine, well they have looked on sympathetically albiet from a great distance. Lingering kisses have instantly stopped and been replaced with quick pecks on my forward and the dog, well he was just thoroughly disgusted and it has only been today that he could look me in the face. This by the way is the same dog who scrounges thru trash bins eating cardboard pizza boxes!

I have always thought and held that I had a strong constitution, after all I have survived dengue twice, two emergency caesareans and of course the dalliances with the occasional hangover from hell. This has outdone, hands down, all of these combined. In my delirium between bed and pony, I found I went thru all forms of emotions. The,’ Whoa is me!’, to,’ Whoa look out, where’s my pony?’, and finally,‘Where is my life heading and What does it all mean?’

Here’s the thing though, I think I accidentally entered myself into the scenario of, ‘careful what you wish for’. There is a line in the movie,’ The Devil Wears Prada’, where the main character has come down with a cold. Her associate tells her she should get some rest and her response, with wide eyes is,’I am one pneumonia away from a size 0!.’ This was a scenario I could relate to, as I had just used this line on my Marine. Only it was in the form of saying out loud , ‘Babe, I am ready to start my detox.’

Thinking back now I wish I had said, ‘Babe, I am ready to make that million dollars!’ Note to self, think bigger.

So in my whoa is me thoughts it brought me back to all the things I have fought thru and continue to fight thru each day. It should have made me feel stronger, but instead it just made me slip back to where I was 7 years ago. And then I realized I have been asleep for a while, well not asleep, more like the walking dead. The feeling I have had over these 3 days has summed up how I have been poisoned utterly slowly with grief and loss and loneliness. I started having nightmares again, nightmares of children running, of abuse and choices, hard choices that I have made to make that have kept me in a state of sadness for years.

As each day passed the pain was all encompassing, it was all based within my womb, aching and ripping me apart. It twisted me and had me on edge. The exhaustion has been withering and the agony heartbreaking.

There is a silver lining in all of this, I have discovered that within being weak during this sickness I have also rediscovered my strength. Each day I am slowly getting stronger, not only in body, but also finally in spirit. Once the cloud of delirium started to lift, so too did the poison of the past. I saw it for what it was, something to feel and finally to let go of.

I am just only now learning to forgive myself, the loss of my children has been overwhelming, not at times, but at all times. I have had enormous setbacks, mixed in with incredible highs. You need to be aware that when someone tells you that something bad happened to them and they changed, it doesn’t actually mean that other bad things didn’t follow. That was their reference to their worst experience while cuppled with many winding twists along the way that caused their awakening. I should know, my own road has been twisted, turned, hijacked and blood has been spilt on my highway to me.

For the record this is actually a letter to my husband, who has watched this internal pain for so long, standing by me and looking at me from the outside hoping I get better and gently pecking my forehead in a beautiful gesture of, I am here. You are not alone.

To my Medic Marine, my handsome husband, thank you for recognizing the downfall, thank you for not giving up. I am grateful for your strength and unwaivering support and love. I am sorry I have dark days. I am always in awe of your ability to laugh in the face of adversity and your beautiful and patient way of being able to coax out the frog in my throat, that is sometimes too strangled with pain and rage to release. You my love are a true gentleman, bless you for loving me when I couldn’t find the love for myself anymore at the bottom of the bowl.

68441_446155846433_4432290_n.jpgWith regards to the detox, I am 3kg lighter, the porcelain pony will always have a place in my heart and I am ready for a lingering kiss.

And to you my old friend, F.P. (food posioning) what can I say, it’s been emotional.

#iamthiswoman #foodpoisoning #porcelainpony #blessyou #truegentleman #patience #love #darkdays #missyoueveryday #forgive #detox #dreambigger #stronger

 

 

 

 

The day I hit my best friend

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We had antagonized each other all week.  Each of us trying to pysche the other out with friendly banter, gif fights and emoji captions.  In my corner, 7 years under my belt of boxing training, speed and small stature and in her corner, flexibility, height and yogi aesthetics(not too mention a long reach).

We both joked that if it all got to harry we would jump in to interpretive dance.

I started boxing seven years ago, taking lessons in stand up boxing and kickboxing.  As a trainer I thought it was a great tool to teach clients with, not only from the physical aspect but the mindset that comes with it. Little did I know it was going to be my consistent in my life there after.

I married a professional boxer and coach years later, and I remember going into his gym on one of our first dates (as you do) and being incredibly impressed with the boxers that were training and being trained.  Their grace in the ring, their focus at learning their skills and the consistent drive to give it their best every time they entered the ring. I also noticed the amazing camaraderie after each round, the hugs that were given after each fight knowing that moments before they had felt the bone crushing hit to their ribs from their opponent or a left hook to the jaw caught off guard.

Although I have trained everyday for years and coached alongside my husband, not once would I ever consider going in to the ring myself.  For one, my husband had always sent me in as the offence trainer, I could hit but they could not hit back.  The lesson for them was to try to avoid being hit as well as to be able to control their emotions when in battle.

If you have never been in the ring, controlling emotions is very difficult and if you have never been hit, the intensity of your excitement becomes amped to the enth degree once you hear the sound of the bell.

We have a 3 rule system in our club, referring to the fact that you need to at least make 3 sessions of training each week before you are even allowed to enter in. That also refers to and includes training in the art of boxing, the foundations as well as a few months under your belt (no pun intended) as a rule of thumb, to be able to spar.

My girlfriend and I fit all of the above categories.  For one Jules has been a Raw Art MC Member for over a year now, and although she has been working all around the world as the Yogi Guru that she is, she has managed to find boxing gyms wherever she is to stay on point.  Proudly sending photos of herself in the Uk and may I add impressing those within those gyms with her skills.  But not once, did we consider, that either one of us would be put in the ring to spar against each other.

For my part it was time to go in, there was a moment about 9 months ago where it all came together for me as far as learning to take a hit.  For years I would be horribly offended if I did get the hit of the glove against my face, it could literally bring me to tears.  There is a rule usually, that a trainer can’t train someone he loves, and there has been times when my husband/ coach has watched me have meltdowns as my ego played itself out in a multitude of emotions, from being offended, hurt, angry and embarrassed.  Each time I learned something more about myself after those meltdowns and he as always supportive, would tell me to get back in and try it again.

As Jules and I trained all week, the hype around our tete a tete was felt throughout the MC. Each member goading us on in a supportive manner, but cheeky at the same time.  I would whisper in her ear that her reach was going to get me and she would scoff and say, ‘Are you kidding me, your faster than I am’.  That afternoon we were sending each other text messages with characters cracking their knuckles and mini boxers dancing around in victory.

In my mind we were in the throws of the Holm vs Rousey controversey , the lights of the MGM in our eyes, the crowd cheering us on and bets being waged all over Vegas. As you can see the mind is a powerful tool, in this particular instance delusional ,but powerful none the less.  I started thinking about these warrior chicks, and on what I am sure is a minuscule level of what they are up against, emotions do run high regardless.

The day arrived and Jules walked onto the matts, incredibly pale, eyes slightly dilated mouthing to me as she entered, ‘I feel like I am going to vomit!!

I too had to admit the feeling was mutual. My husband/trainer only that morning had noticed I was slightly off centre, dropping things, repeating myself and completely tuned out to conversations.   As my mouthguard was being fitted and my wraps were going on it all felt a bit surreal. We were actually going to willingly go in and try to punch each other. Our only rule, ‘No Boob shots!!

Our gloves on, we entered the ring, tapped gloves and waited for the bell to toll. And then, IT was on,we were in it, I mean really in it.  We danced around each other, everything we had been trained for was in our minds watching each others moves like a game of chess.

I don’t remember who threw the first punch and it doesn’t matter.  As the bell went off announcing our first round, we embraced each other with a huge hug and realised each of us had forgotten to breathe.  The first rule of boxing was broken, oh and the second rule, I broke the, ‘No boob shot’rule!(sorry babe).

We completed 5 rounds against each other,each round only one minute long but the intensity and the sweat felt like 3minutes after 12 rounds.  Our hands shaking, our eyes glowing our minds alert, we were damn proud of each other and ourselves.

So here’s the thing, the day I hit my best friend was one of the best days of my life.  As far as a bucket list is concerned, get it on yours.  Face your fears,you won’t be disappointed.

I am this woman

 

I am change

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change‘…Albert Einstein

I read these words this morning out loud, as they popped up on my newsfeed, ‘The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.’ And it resonated so deeply.

I realized that after reading that quote, I might now have to consider myself up for, all ego aside, ‘The most intelligent human out there!'(just kidding…long way to go)

Why? Because, I have faced the majority of fears on that list. Some I won, but most I lost. And here is the measure of ones ability to change, I am now ok with the losses and have accepted the choices that I made. The idea of change for me used to be scary, as change is usually related or brought on, in my opinion by a fear based scenario.

‘But who am I now? ‘and better yet, ‘Would the past recognize me and accept these changes?’ or would I fall into a heap and revert back to that which broke me in the beginning. This is a question I was asked last night by my husband. He was commending me on how much I had grown and all that I had had to adapt to, and then he hit me with, ‘What if one of your past fears was to walk up to you right now, could you remain the person you are today?’

My husband and Albert Einstein’s quote made me have a look at who I am today as opposed to say even a year ago. For the most part the real reason for such dramatic changes in my life were to be fair, all based on fear.

I decided to check out the top 10 fears for the human race and low and behold, I found myself in almost all of them.

I want to thank them actually, because they are what forced me, most time while dragging my feet and fighting against these scary new challenges . To finally accept that which was no longer meant to be for me. In that moment of hesitation in not wanting to change, I was allowing this to become my, ‘measure of intelligence’.  Thank you Einstein!

The list went like this: #fearofflying #fearofheights #fearofpublicspeaking #fearofthedark #fearofintimacy #fearofdeath #fearoffailure #fearofrejection #fearfofspiders #fearofcommitment

I have to admit here that fear of flying and spiders isn’t it, for one I travel heaps and two after living in Australia for over 20 years spiders are my least concern. But the others, they dramatically shaped me and my heart.

It was only after, long after, that once I had fought thru those fears ,did I reflect and admire at the beauty in what those changes had done for me.  I had learned from the experiences, whether they were great or horrific and I respect the woman I have morphed into.

The woman I AM today.

I would like to thank and summarize these fears, and by doing so realize that I will face them again only this time, I hope to be more knowledgeable, less judgemental, more open and less hardened, have a deeper sense of forgiveness and learn to let go.

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And to answer my husband, I can only say, ‘I am waiting, I am fearless, I am flawed, I am change, I am ok, I am ready….

I am this Woman

#change #choices #belief #fear #myjourney #mychange #loss #iamthiswoman #don’tlookback #doorisalwaysopen #bringerofchange #alberteinstein #ilovealbert #myhusbandrocks

 

 

 

 

 

I am Fighting Your Demons

I am not sure if apologies are necessary, but I will do one just the same.

Writing has been taking up all of my time, which leads me to be a hermit and indulge in the artistic side of creating, which usually means becoming an isolated asshole actually!

So, my apology is to the fact that I haven’t had the space of mind to write to you from here, but please know I am writing.  If you have never undertaken the labour of love which is creating a book then let me tell you it is without a doubt, time consuming, all consuming and leaves you very bleary eyed and lacking any form of being able to articulate a normal conversation outside of the parameters of the pages you are staring at.

Every situation turns into a new setting and before you know it you are staring at strangers trying to capture the movements in words.  On that note, apologies to the poor lady in the ice blue dress with the wind gently caressing your hair as you order your Pina Colada from the bar, the sun gently setting behind your…oh shit there I go again.

It could be worse, I could not have the time to be able to create.  Ugh, just writing that gives me the heeby jeebies.  My creative hand has usually been attached to a paint brush, but with all of our travelling to create my husband’s books, carting around paints and canvas was not an option-thank you airlines all over the world for charging so much in baggage fees.

I started this blog with the understanding that I was venting, letting go of demons, expressing my pain and hoping that thru all of my words someone out there could rely on the fact that they are not alone in their daily struggles.  We all have our own battles to fight and we all have our own unique way of dealing with that.

I would like to thank you, each and every one of you for your support in this past year with I Am this Woman, as it has been the canvas for my novel to unfold upon.  Like layers of paint, I have been slowly building my own Mona Lisa.

The last time I put brush to hand was to do a self-portrait of my husband, he was in the process of completing his second book and based on my first paragraph, ‘Which means becoming an isolated asshole’, I had some time and space to turn his book into a piece of art.  I wasn’t able to complete it and it still rests in Scotland, one day I hope to return to it and put the final pieces of his words on it.  For now though it is a reminder to me that creating, of any form is a healthy expression and one that all should try.

 

And on that note, I Am Off, off to create, off to become that indulgent artistic brat that we all know and love (she says with a wink)….off to describe every nuance of a piece of sand.

I am that artist, I am that writer, I am that asshole, I am a creator, but most of all I am this Woman.

Title-Fighting Your Demons,

Self Portrait-Denny Denholm

Mixed Medium on Acrylic

Artist-LXO

 

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Get off your ass

I am asking you to get off your ass!

Being back on the matts again, I have found a few things have changed and yet nothing has changed at all.

For instance Fad diets still remain, everyone has knowledge but doesn’t know how to apply it to themselves and we all need someone to give us a kick up the ass.

Having been a trainer for over 10 years lots of things have come and gone, but what remains is still the mindset of , ‘If I just lost those extra 5kg I would be happy’…true story.

However, the scale of doom doesn’t dictate how you look or feel about yourself, in fact it does just the opposite. I had a client who recently lost 15kg’s in the last 2 months. First of all let’s pause and say well done mate! But that wasn’t his reaction at all, he went on to tell me that he has plateaud and just wants to lose that extra bit. Let’s just take a moment to reflect on the fact that he has lost 15kg’s, a celebration of sorts wouldn’t you say. But once he stepped on the scale, all that sweat and hard effort went out the window.

In my studio I never had a scale, every now and then I did some measuring on clients if they insisted, but the reality was that the overall benefit of just taking that time out of your day to do something for you, to move your body and learn new things and achieve goals you never thought possible ,for example a full body pushup, meant that your goals were on their way to being achieved. And lo and behold, your clothes fit better, your skin glowed and there was a cheeky smile knowing that you had found the secret to your success.  Marriages were saved, babies were being produced and sexy beings of all shapes and sizes were walking thru my doors because they were empowered within themselves.

Choices these days are endless when it comes to improving your fitness skills, from Crossfit, F45, Muay Thai, Boxing, Running clubs…the list is endless but ultimately it is up to you to get there and do it.

The cost of a trainer for some is too much, however is it?

When I have trained people they are kept to task, their body is worked over completely and they are educated so that once they have attained their goals they can feel competent in the knowledge that they are well equipped to know what they can do and feel confident in any situation or new exercise environment to be successful. My job is too motivate and educate you, full stop!

I have had three children, all cesarean and from that have had to tackle that baby bulge and scar tissue. I am now heading up the range of ticking the box for the over 45 category and yet still can outskip most 20 year olds today. Fitness and mind muscle remain, you just have to dig in and take that time out for you to do it.

The excuses are endless and if I had a dollar for every excuse, well let’s say I would be a very rich woman by now. So here’s the deal, stop the fucking excuses, get your ass in gear and stop setting unachievable goals for yourself that even the top athletes know takes time and dedication. A consistant and persistant mindset is what is required and to get this you will usually find it from those that are doing it or have done it. Ask them, they know the deal. They know how good they feel, how much taller they walk, the confidence that comes from achieving not only your first lady pushup to one day achieving a full range motion( ‘Man’s) pushup. I have found that some of the busiest humans on the earth, whether it be rockstars, corporates to full time mom’s know that if they don’t put that time in for themselves they are resentful, low energy, messes of human beings.  And if they can find the time, so can you!

Doing things in increments, making sure you warm-up correctly and cool down so as not to hurt yourself…maintaining a good balance of body weight and cardio, because let’s face it, I want to be able to wipe my own ass when I am 80 years old and that requires being able to squat and be flexible enough to wipe. By the way this was said to me by an 80+ client who could outskip me!! Her name was Dot.

Her whole life she had had to dedicate it to looking after her disabled son, who by this stage was now in his 60’s, she still had to wipe his bum and lift him from bed to chair, on her own.

So people, you never know what life is going to throw at you, but try to be prepared and that starts with you. The number of times clients have come to my matts and have admitted to being scared. When asked what they were scared of, most of the time it was because they were exposing themselves to something that as humans they felt they should naturally know, but that’s false advertisement.  We all need help and guidance. It would be no different than heading to the ocean and taking up diving without any instruction or advice and just putting on a tank and jumping in, or climbing a boulder in the hopes that my novice ropes would support me. A personal trainer is no different.

Sure there are some horrible excuses for personal trainers out there, the ones that stare at themselves in the mirror or are on their Iphone more than they are paying attention to you. So here are a few guide lines to help you find a good trainer.

  1. Do they practice what they preach?
  2. Do they spend time with you first to find out your goals, past injuries and fears?
  3. Do they have a track record?
  4. Have they had a life experience to be able to relate to where you are coming from.

These are just a few examples that on your first time you should be able to assess and know if you are the right fit. It’s not called personal training for the hell of it. This is your time to shine, be encouraged and also be given a kick up the ass, because lets face it, we all can be couch trainers but a personal trainer will make you do that extra 5 of anything when you would have stopped at 10 before.

 

I am a trainer, I am the creator of HOTBOD studios and on my matts we sweat, smile and swear…but above all, standards are upheld and goals were achieved.

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See you on the matts