I am here to tell the tale




I am here to tell the tale

Have you ever been stalked by a Cougar. When I mean stalked, I mean by an actual Mountain Lion from the Rocky Mountains of Canada. I have. When a Cougar stalks you, and you are in her sights, it will take a miracle for you to survive. Once the Cougar is upon you, she will roll you over and place her 6-inch nail across your belly and slice you open. No one lives to tell the tale of a Cougar stalking. This, however, did not happen to me…

My stepfamily had left to head down to the ski lodge. Their winter cabin was at the top of the mountain and after dinner, we had all agreed to go down to the lodge to have hot chocolate and listen to some local music.

The Mountain was known for its powder at the time but wasn’t considered a big enough ski hill to have chair lifts or let alone much lighting to lead the way down. I would gather to say the distance from the cabin to the steps of the lodge to be less than 400 metres. A nice enough distance to gently ski down but not a marathon to get to.

I have been called many things in my life; some make me smile others cringe, one of those names is being called Moses by my Mother. The reason is, she said, that ‘I was slower than the second coming of Christ’.
How is she to know, who’s to say, He could be fast. In this particular instance she was right and wrong. I was slow to eat my dinner, slow to put on my ski boots, slow to bundle up for the weather and by this time slow to head out with them. So, last one in the house, I locked up, placed my ski’s into position and was just clicking in my boots getting ready to head to the lodge, when I felt her.

The moon was out full and by all accounts a typical evening for a 13yr old to head down by herself after them, I am a skier and have been skiing since I was two. The snow was fantastic, slightly crisp as my skis glided into it; just a faint crunch sounded from them. The stars were bright, and the moon was so full, not a cloud in the sky, wait a minute…and with that moment I felt her.

I heard a crunch, or maybe I felt her crouch. Either way, she was so close to the powder snow her shadow blended into the moguls under the moonlight, I felt her…my presence was in her sights and everything in that moment just slowed right down and then sped right up.

I remember feeling rather than thinking, feeling that I wasn’t Moses, and I could move faster than the second coming of Christ as long as I didn’t hesitate…Commit I whispered.

I never looked back, to be honest; I don’t even know if she followed me. Those few hundred metres were distanced within seconds and then I was in the lodge gasping that I was being stalked.

This memory was triggered by my cousin’s recent disappearance. It reminded me of that feeling, of sheer terror and yet internal instinct to survive. I am hoping she has this. I am hoping somewhere out there she has her internal instinct to survive. I am praying she is not in terror, or in harms way…but like me just moving a little slower to find her way home.

I would like to thank each and every one of you for sharing the post about my cousin Natalie Perkins, who went missing on February 15 from Byron Bay. It is not a usual thing for her to be without contact with the family for any extended period. Please keep sharing.

She is still missing.


Missing Person, My Cousin..This is Real

I would like to thank everyone who in the past 24 hours has shared this post over 200 times. We are cousins,  she is family, she is lost and in need of help.  This is what family and friends do, they help, they look for solutions.  If you know of anyone in Australia who knows of someone…please forward this on.  You can be the difference in my cousins life.

Missing Person, Natalie Perkins – Byron Bay, NSW, Australia

Posted on: 23rd February 2016

Date Missing: 15/02/2016

Please help find Natalie Perkins, she has gone missing from the Byron Bay area of New South Wales. Natalie is Canadian, she was leaving her house to attend a doctors appointment. Police are checking to see if she attended.

Natalie was last seen on the 15th February, she does not drive.
She is described as having plaits in her hair and she was wearing shorts, a blue and white striped singlet and a checkered backpack with wallet, phone and makeup in it.

Natalie has a medical condition and her loved ones are extremely worried for her. Please help and if you have seen Natalie then please contact Byron Bay Police on (02) 6685 9499 or 1800 333 000.

Last known location:


I am Choosing

We have choices, some are harder than others…Do you choose you?


I am choosing

What empowers you? What gives you the strength to go on? What is the difference between you and I that makes one of us want to keep going and the other to jump off a balcony?12471538_10153741778843971_3389353174543910040_o

There was a study done years ago on two teenage boys, identical twins. They had come from a poor background, their Father was in and out of prison and their Mother had died after being beaten by their Father. In their adult years the boys lives were to be very different. One followed in his Father’s steps and became the alcoholic, abusive criminal he was always meant to be and the other? Well he became a Harvard graduate specializing in… heart surgery! When asked why did they become who they were, both their responses were to be the same, ‘What choice did I have.’

Exactly, What choice did they have? Choice. What choices do we have? What choices do you have? As in the study above, the response was perfect. One felt that he had no other option because of how horrible it was for him growing up and yet his identical twin had the same answer and thru that felt he had to do the opposite. Right here is where I get empowered, because we all have that same choice.

If I can be of any help in regards to bad choices, please feel free to gather some from my endless supply, lord knows there are hundreds to pick from my list. But without those decisions I wouldn’t have had Wisdom, Grace or Love.

Personally what I learned from those mysterious identical boys was that you can choose to live your life based on your circumstances and poor me mentality or you can choose to turn that into something glorious, peaceful, engaging and if that includes others on the way then good for you.

And this is where you come in. What empowers you, what choices are you making today that are going to make you either a bitter, miserable empty shell of a person or an inspired, loved and cherished individual.

I KNOW what I am choosing xxx

I am Back

I am back

It’s been four months since I started my blog. And 2 months since I have written anything. I kind of lost my mojo, or rather found it. Let me explain, we are back in Thailand. Surrounded by amazing, inspiring, creatives, who I love so much. And what happens in environments like this is that you are continually creative in so many other areas that finding time to take it all in, stop the merry go round and write about it proves to be harder than one would expect.

This is just one of my days…Training in our MC with brave and fit warriors who only improve everyday. Dinner at our best mates 5 star restaurant and wine bar, The Gallery, where we are spoiled rotten with the best Thai food on this planet. An evening of listening to Simon Wright and Andy V from Australia, mesmerise us with their talents on Loop, Guitar and Sax while the ocean laps gently across the shore. An invite to the amazing Cape Shark, a 7 star villa sanctuary that has been designed fit enough for the Princess of Thailand.

And to top it all off, an evening cruise home with the love of my life on the back our bike, while the full moon lights are way home to our Jungle Fever Dollhouse.

So I apologise for not writing for awhile, actually I want to say sorry not sorry. My posts have always been filled with sadness, loss and complete tragedy and as much as I needed to express that pain, I no longer feel that. I thank you for all of your support and strength, believe me when I say, your love has been felt and without you in it I could not be here in this mindset.

I would like to share with you instead how from all of that, I have found myself again. How I don’t wake up anymore feeling lost, sad or confused… How I don’t feel like a victim…anymore.

In the past two months I have accepted my losses, picked myself and had an epiphany. I have lost 6 kilo’s, I train everday if not twice a day (except Sundays). I have grown, and from that lost one mojo in return for the other. I want you to know that you can do this too.

You don’t have to be on a tropical island, (although that does help) to adjust your glitch. Actually my glitch was on the matts one day, while my husband/coach was teaching me how to spar. Part of learning how to box is not only to know how to hit, but also how to be hit. How to, ‘roll with the punches’, and it really is a roll. We had started our 3 minute round, and in that time frame I was hit(gently but effectively) on the head or in the ribs or in the face….with each punch I found I couldn’t get out of the way. No matter how hard I tried to duck and weave, the punches kept landing. Tears started to roll down my face, memories started flooding back, I could feel the waves of regression sinking in on me as I struggled with my breathing. And this is where the epiphany came…this is what I had been doing all along. Ducking, weaving, resisting the cause but taking the pain.. I needed to grow and the only way was to take a deep breathe and walk into that punch, eyes wide open and ready to accept that I could get hurt.

That’s life for me, right there. In those 3 minutes I had the opportunity to either ride the crest of the past or walk into the ring with a plan, without fear or intimidation. I put my hands to my cheekbones, I opened my eyes and took a deep breathe. The tears stopped, the past melted and in front of me was me. My hardest opponent, and I won.

I am back.SAM_0027.JPG