I am change

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change‘…Albert Einstein

I read these words this morning out loud, as they popped up on my newsfeed, ‘The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.’ And it resonated so deeply.

I realized that after reading that quote, I might now have to consider myself up for, all ego aside, ‘The most intelligent human out there!'(just kidding…long way to go)

Why? Because, I have faced the majority of fears on that list. Some I won, but most I lost. And here is the measure of ones ability to change, I am now ok with the losses and have accepted the choices that I made. The idea of change for me used to be scary, as change is usually related or brought on, in my opinion by a fear based scenario.

‘But who am I now? ‘and better yet, ‘Would the past recognize me and accept these changes?’ or would I fall into a heap and revert back to that which broke me in the beginning. This is a question I was asked last night by my husband. He was commending me on how much I had grown and all that I had had to adapt to, and then he hit me with, ‘What if one of your past fears was to walk up to you right now, could you remain the person you are today?’

My husband and Albert Einstein’s quote made me have a look at who I am today as opposed to say even a year ago. For the most part the real reason for such dramatic changes in my life were to be fair, all based on fear.

I decided to check out the top 10 fears for the human race and low and behold, I found myself in almost all of them.

I want to thank them actually, because they are what forced me, most time while dragging my feet and fighting against these scary new challenges . To finally accept that which was no longer meant to be for me. In that moment of hesitation in not wanting to change, I was allowing this to become my, ‘measure of intelligence’.  Thank you Einstein!

The list went like this: #fearofflying #fearofheights #fearofpublicspeaking #fearofthedark #fearofintimacy #fearofdeath #fearoffailure #fearofrejection #fearfofspiders #fearofcommitment

I have to admit here that fear of flying and spiders isn’t it, for one I travel heaps and two after living in Australia for over 20 years spiders are my least concern. But the others, they dramatically shaped me and my heart.

It was only after, long after, that once I had fought thru those fears ,did I reflect and admire at the beauty in what those changes had done for me.  I had learned from the experiences, whether they were great or horrific and I respect the woman I have morphed into.

The woman I AM today.

I would like to thank and summarize these fears, and by doing so realize that I will face them again only this time, I hope to be more knowledgeable, less judgemental, more open and less hardened, have a deeper sense of forgiveness and learn to let go.

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And to answer my husband, I can only say, ‘I am waiting, I am fearless, I am flawed, I am change, I am ok, I am ready….

I am this Woman

#change #choices #belief #fear #myjourney #mychange #loss #iamthiswoman #don’tlookback #doorisalwaysopen #bringerofchange #alberteinstein #ilovealbert #myhusbandrocks

 

 

 

 

 

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